Identity

In my last year of college, I had to write an autobiographical paper for a religion class. The last section of the paper I entitled "Becoming Me." I was thinking recently about the irony...at 22 I thought I'd finally morphed into a permanent and lasting adult version of Sarah. But the reality is that I've changed a lot since then.

On the other hand, I was reading some journal entries from February 1992 yesterday. I was fascinated to realize that almost all of the sentiments I expressed about myself then - the frustrations, the yearnings, the questioning and self-evaluation - those sentiments remain nearly unchanged seventeen years later. I could have written the same things just a week ago.

As much as I continue to change and develop, there really is a lot of ten year-old Sarah in the current adult version of me. Why does that make me feel...somewhat melancholy?


Like I'm still laughing on the outside...while something ugly wraps itself about my neck and fills me with terror on the inside. :)